A Full View Of Mental Illness: How It Looks to Outsiders Versus The Reality

Sofia Isabella Flores
Jun 30, 2021
7 min read

Hello, friends.

Throughout the course of this last year, it has been difficult for me to create new posts; I was unsure of what I should speak on and how I should approach different topics. I realize now that I was held back, and still am to a certain extent, by fear and anxiety.

Classic, really. I was anxious about discussing my anxiety.

In all honesty, I am terrified of merely being perceived by others.

Anxiety and Depression, in all of their different severities and forms, affect various aspects of one’s life. And in many cases, they can grow to influence all aspects of one’s life.

I myself have struggled with both anxiety and depression to a chronic extent for almost six years, and the entirety of my existence has been shaped by these illnesses and how I expect the world around me to respond to them.

This blog post is dedicated to anyone and everyone struggling to understand what they are experiencing - mentally and emotionally; likewise, it is also intended to inform those unaware of how best to interact with friends and loved ones struggling with their mental health. This is a place where I hope to provide insight - where I hope you will see that you are not alone.

1) What Mental Health & Illness Struggles Look Like From an Outsider’s Perspective

I believe it is crucial to always keep in mind the perspectives and outlooks of others; blame it on my time in Speech & Debate or one too many Synthesis Essays in AP Language & Composition, if you will, but it is important to do so nonetheless.

What other people see and interpret when an individual is experiencing a panic attack, moment of fixation/compulsion, depressive episode, etc. is often not the most positive or compassionate. Unless those outsiders have personal experience with mental health and illness struggles, it is difficult for them to understand the delicate situation at hand.

Often, the viewpoint of an outsider in the event of a mental health/illness challenge can consist of the following stereotypes and misinterpretations:

“He/she/they is/are acting weird.”

“He/she/they is/are just acting out.”

“He/she/they is/are really antisocial.”

“He/she/they is/are complicated and unpredictable.”

“How could you be anxious around me? You know me!”

“Why did this person cancel at the last minute? That’s rude.”

“Why did this person leave so abruptly? It seemed so unprovoked.”

“I don’t understand how you can be depressed. You have nothing to be depressed about.”

“Why are you fixating on that? It is not such a big deal - not like you’re making it out to be.”

“Why are you so upset? It’s only one small change to the plan. It’s nothing to worry about at all.”

“I thought OCD only made you want everything to be neat and in order. I don’t understand how anxiety is related to that.”

“Anxiety/panic attack? Those cannot be that bad. If you really wanted and tried to calm yourself down, you could. Don’t use that as an excuse.”

“Are you sure that your compulsions and fixations are that bad? I feel like you could stop yourself from focusing on them if you really put your mind to it.”

And last but far from least, my personal favorite from the trauma treasure chest,

“Stop using your mental health as an excuse. You’re acting like a crazy person. You’re just insane!”

While there are countless kind and sympathetic souls out there who do make an effort to support those in their life who struggle with mental health/illness issues, these negative occasions far outweigh the positive once individuals like myself experience them.

We most often have trouble recalling and validating both past and future positive experiences once these negative ones occur, nor can we brush them off with ease or swiftness. A “bad” encounter can cause far more harm to one’s mental welfare than a “good” one can cause benefit.

The most effective remedies to the stigmatization of mental health and illness I can provide are compassion, research, and patience. If a friend or loved one is struggling, have the compassion to reach out and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Attempt to research their symptoms and struggles further - to gain a better understanding of what they are going through. And finally, be patient with them; they are battling each and every minute of the day to stay composed and refrain from being the pest that much of society has made them out to be. If they need time/space to recuperate, allow them to have it. If you find yourself growing frustrated with them, take a break - for both your own good and theirs.

2) Chronic Anxiety & Depression - A Genuine, Concise Experience

When one uses the term “chronic” in reference to a medical condition or similar circumstance, it is meant to convey that what they are experiencing is long-lasting, - often permanent - severe, and highly difficult to eradicate or fully heal. Those diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder most commonly fall into the category of chronic disease sufferers. This is because their mental condition is persistent and unlikely to be entirely “cured” over time.

Living with a mental illness is the equivalent - in nature - to a physical illness in that it cannot “go away,” and sufferers cannot fully recover from them.

An individual suffering from diabetes and experiencing a drop in blood sugar levels is unlikely to face criticism or stigmatization when injecting their insulin pens or requesting that those around them assist in finding a source of sugar to aid their present predicament.

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All-the-while, an individual suffering from social anxiety or chronic general anxiety who experiences a panic attack in public and begins to demonstrate withdrawal from the setting or asks to be excused from the gathering altogether is likely to be misinterpreted as reserved, temperamental, and/or rude.

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An individual suffering from chronic depression who does not attend public gatherings on a regular basis, appears detached from social interactions, or forgets obligations they made to others is often categorized as cold, undependable, and/or careless.

I could continue to present points on the list of generalizations made about the individuals suffering from OCD, Sociopathy, PTSD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and numerous others. But the mere fact that such an extensive list of mischaracterizations exists within society is - pardon my blunt manner - repulsive. These disorders are not the fault of the individual suffering from them. And yet, society tends to place the blame directly upon them when their symptoms inconvenience the people in their lives.

Living with chronic anxiety - or any level of anxiety at any point in one’s life - can be unbearable at times. I would like it noted that the severity in that statement is entirely true and intentional.

There is never a moment when I am not anxious. Anxiety legitimately influences the entirety of my life. The level of anxiety I feel varies from minute to minute - dependent on an abundance of factors that are both within and beyond my control.

For further context into the mindset of anxiety, allow me to inform you of the basics. I am constantly and unrelentingly anxious. I am anxious when I am at home, school, with friends, with family, by myself, in a restaurant, at the mall, at the park, while walking my dog, doing my homework, eating, cleaning, and falling asleep. In short, my anxiety does not go away - ever. I am simply more anxious at times and less anxious at others. The same is true for depression and most other mental health issues.

Although our illnesses are not immediately visible, they are extremely real and difficult to endure.

3) Experiencing Anxiety & Panic Attacks

There are certain behaviors that often occur in individuals suffering from anxiety disorders and similar illnesses, panic and anxiety attacks being amongst the most commonly known.

An anxiety attack and panic attack are very similar in the symptoms they bring about; both can cause shortness of breath, fear, numbness, and more. However, anxiety attacks are triggered by one’s existing fears and the perception that what is about to happen will be stressful. Whereas panic attacks are unexpected and occur without warning, striking at any point - regardless of feelings or fears. When experiencing a panic attack, one often believes that they could lose control of their mind/bodies and die.

In both scenarios, the experiences are jarring. However, individuals can easily feel as though seeking help from those around them will only worsen the situation and further contribute to their continual uneasiness.

What is most disappointing about the world we live in is its lack of empathy and willingness to create effective, long-lasting improvement from a place of genuine care and benevolence. Despite the contemporary activism for mental health reform and destigmatization, public panic/anxiety attacks still make one appear volatile to many people. We are viewed as “high-maintenance” and “dramatic” for the physical expressions of our worst fears and most challenging struggles.

We do not experience these mental and emotional outbursts to seek attention or advantage. They occur without our consent - hence the inclusion of the word “attack” - and despite all efforts to prevent them.

Oddly enough, I sometimes find it difficult to explain anxiety. It is such a complex, erratic, despicable little devil, making it a challenge in itself to convey in a coherent string of words. I suppose what is of most importance to keep in mind is that anxiety, depression, and all mental health and illness struggles alike are not to be neglected or trivialized. And the individuals suffering from them are not to be antagonized or blamed for the mere fact of living with them.

I ask that you spread kindness, insight, and truth. If you have no insight to give or do not yet know the full truth of the matter in which you intend to speak, have the kindness and wisdom to allow those with such to speak instead.

In light and peace,

Sofia F.

The darkness that exists in this world is far too abundant as it is; choose to create, share, and fuel the light instead.