Mental Health Reminders For Reentering Normalcy: Important Information As We Begin Again

Hello again.

It has been quite some time since I last wrote to you. As I am sure is the case with many of you, my life has been entirely chaotic these last few months.

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Now that Summer is here, I am thrilled to finally have both the time and inspiration to bring more blogs to the online world.

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While the road ahead is not entirely clear, it is brighter in many ways than it was this time a year ago. And with most of the United States being reopened this week, a large part of society is beginning to resemble more of the normalcy we have all longed for throughout these last eighteen months.

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Allow me to be honest, I have experienced more panic attacks during the last few weeks than I have in years. The mere thought of returning to “normal” is far more obscure and unsettling than I could have previously imagined.

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What we once considered “normal” feels entirely abnormal now. The normalcy we once enjoyed is no longer our current or future state of normal - not after such an extensive amount of time that was anything but. “Normal” is not what we had or did then, nor is what we have or currently do as a result of the pandemic; rather, “normal” is now a merge of both - the two worlds connected and combined.

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Before I officially begin this blog post, I would like for you to know that there is nothing wrong with any of the emotions you feel regarding the “return to normalcy” that approaches. We have never experienced anything quite like this before. There is no instruction manual for “reentering the world.” You have a right to be thrilled, hesitant, terrified, confused, uncertain, or a mixture of all and more.

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1) Set & Remember Your Boundaries

Your boundaries are not recommendations. In many cases and especially when regarding mental and emotional states, they are finite. Neglecting and continuously bypassing them could have devastating ramifications. You are not the same individual you were in March of 2020. It is for the best that you do everything in your power not to make the same mistakes and inflict the same detriments upon yourself.

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The last year and a half has been tumultuous to say the least. Many of us have regressed in social skills and are rather out of practice in feeling comfortable while interacting with others. My own ability to socialize has grown weak, my boundaries and limits shifting greatly since the start of the pandemic.

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When interacting with friends, family, or anyone else, it is not selfish to keep your own welfare in mind. If you sense your “social battery” running low, it is perfectly acceptable to remove yourself from the situation. If you begin to feel anxious, it is alright if you need to step away. If you do not believe that you will be able to attend certain events because of a lack of time to recharge or emotionally/mentally prepare yourself, that is alright. There will be other opportunities.

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While attending certain events lately as the world around me has started its reopening process, the amount of both general anxiety and subsequent anxiety attacks that I have experienced are, if I am to be frank with you, paralyzing. I have not been able to make it through a single social interaction without hysterics prior to, during, or after (and on occasion, during all three stages).

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The shocking truth of the matter is that we have not been in a position where consistent social interaction is expected and practiced in months. Even if we have attended various events or interacted with others sporadically during the last year and a half, it has been immensely altered from what we once knew. I see no shame in needing extra time to prepare yourself for venturing out once again into the world before you. I see no shame in exiting a social gathering of any size to catch your breath, collect your thoughts, and decide what is best for you at that moment.

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Your boundaries are set only by you, and they should reflect how you wish to be treated by both yourself and those around you. They can evolve and grow alongside you; as you build more strength and comfortability in interacting with the world before you, it is entirely your choice to allow your boundaries to shift as well or remain as they are.

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2) You Do Not Need To Please Everyone & Say “Yes” To Everything

This concept is one that I have struggled with as far back as my memory extends. During the age of virtual events, entire conversations via email, Zoom meetings, and Google Meet class sessions especially, it has been eerily simple to say “yes” in response to any requests posed before you. I do not know of any other time in my life where I have felt more compelled to accept all responsibilities and tasks that others have asked of me.

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“I can handle that.”

“Of course I can help with this.”

“I do not need extra time. I can finish it today.”

“No issues here; I will have that sent over by the end of the week.”

“I would hate to make any trouble for them; I will just get it done and act like it was no big deal.”

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The world of instant gratification that we live in and have been consumed by as a result of an eighteen-month-isolation has made us forget that the entirety of our lives do not operate in that same way. An instant reaction can have long-term effects.

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Before genuinely and thoroughly processing requests, I quickly accepted numerous additional obligations. While it is perfectly fine to do so on occasion, making a habit of this attitude can be severely problematic.

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This, my friends, is where the infamous state of “burnout” becomes abundantly clear. Often, we burn ourselves out by underestimating the toll of all small tasks and responsibilities that we have burdened ourselves with.

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In an effort to please others we can often harm ourselves; in doing so we forget that we are not responsible for the stability and comfort of others, many times forsaking our own.

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While the Summer of reopening approaches, and the return to a greater level of normalcy accompanies the Fall, I urge you to carefully contemplate the activities and endeavours that you undertake.

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You are not a terrible student simply because you do not turn in a few assignments on time. You are not a bad person for not being able to volunteer for that community service project. You are not less in value simply because you do not join one more club, attend one more event, audition for one more play, take on extra roles in your school or workplace, fail an exam, lose a friend, argue with someone, or need a day to yourself to tame the whirlwinds and hurricanes attempting to break you.

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You are not undeserving of your life simply because your mind tells you that you are.

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You have survived a pandemic. You have survived over a year of uncharted territory and stormy seas.

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Your ultimate obligation is to your own health and welfare. If you sacrifice it to build that of another individual, there is no victory - only self-inflicted destruction.

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If you are uncertain of how to approach new tasks or wish to evaluate those asked of you, consider the following:

“Why am I doing this? Am I accepting it out of fear of repercussions? Am I accepting it out of fear that people will think less of me if I do not? Is that better or worse than what could happen if I deny this request?”

“Does this fit into my schedule? Where and how? If not, can I make time for it without sacrificing another one of my responsibilities?”

“Does this align with my personal values and aspirations? Will it weigh me down or build me up?”

“Is this a reasonable use of my time? Does it benefit, harm, or fail to affect me?”

“How much time, dedication, and energy will this require for me?”

“Do I really want to do this?”

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Your time is valuable. You are valuable. Do not lend yourself away with such ease that you forget your worth.

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3) Take Care Of Yourself & Your Mental Health

This might appear somewhat vague, and I suppose that it is best that way.

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Maintaining your mental health can look and feel entirely different than how I would maintain my own. And yet, that is precisely what we must be unafraid to do. Not only should you have the freedom and ability to practice the rituals and routines that benefit your wellbeing, but we as a collective society must be accepting and supportive of it.

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Self care is different for everyone. Each of us have varying views and opinions of what we should do to best upkeep our mental, emotional, and physical health. Taking care of one another, however, is universal - simple. All it requires is patience and compassion. There are no alternative methods to supporting one another - only kindness, respect, and understanding.

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It is not selfish to want to be joyful, content, and safe. In a year that has done all in its power to strip those qualities from you, there is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself and what brings you inner happiness and satisfaction.

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I cannot give you instructions as to how you should protect your mental health. You know yourself better than I could ever begin to. All that I can provide are resources and techniques that have worked for me.

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When you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, remove yourself from the situation that is triggering you.

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When your anxiety, depression, or any form of mental health challenges are surfacing and making it difficult for you accomplish what you have planed, grant yourself permission to decompress and step away from your responsibilities for the time being.

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If you need an extension for an assignment or project, ask for it.

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If you cannot attend a meeting, class, or event, talk to a supervisor, and make them aware of your circumstances. You do not need to mention anything that you do not wish to; include the details that you are comfortable sharing.

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Take a day off for your mental health, if necessary. Take more time, if that will provide you with the strength you need to recover.

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Do not believe the falsehood that you must be “productive” or “positive” at all times. All of us experience unproductive and negative periods in our lives; it is absurd to act as if we do not.

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You are not weak. You are growing.

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You are not alone.

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In love and light,

Sofia F.

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“The world cannot grant you permission to heal, grow, and learn. The power can only be harnessed and bestowed upon you by your own volition.”

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