Pinning After The Past: How To Live More In The Moment & Letting Go Of "What Could Have Been"

In 2020, I think we all really wish time travel existed.

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We have all experienced the desire to redo past events; to go back in time and alter what we could have done better or not at all.

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Unfortunately, we are left to rewind all of our previous mishaps and embarrassments while tossing and turning in bed at one o'clock in the morning.

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The harsh reality is that what lies in the past remains there forever - ingrained into our memory like an annoyingly catchy song.

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Although we cannot change the prior aspects of our life that continue to trouble us, we can learn from them and carry on with more wisdom and caution in present and future experiences.

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Reviewing & Evaluating Our Past: What Is Significant? What Is Worth Space In Our Mind?

While our compilation of past bumps in the road can appear rather extensive, the number of memories that we should focus on and learn from often remain much lower.

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Chances are, you do not need to concern yourself with that one time in kindergarten when you tripped on the playground.

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Rather than live in constant criticism of yourself and all former faults, analyze them and extract the main teaching that they provided you. If there is nothing worth learning, begin working towards shedding that memory and the guilt or worry you attribute to it.

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When Evaluating Your Past, Consider The Following Points:

Is this memory traumatic?

How long ago was this? Does anyone else remember?

Do the repercussions of this event still affect me today?

Would confiding in someone about this past issue help me find closure and move on?

How has my life changed since this previous occurrence? Have I become better for it or worse?

If I could turn back the clock and change my role in this, how would it affect me and others involved?

How often does this memory reoccur in my mind? How often do I wish I could change what happened?

Did I learn something about myself, the world, or those around me after making this past mistake? How has that teaching influenced my actions and mindset since?

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Anxiety is relentless. It can make our struggles appear unrealistically burdensome. It can make solving them seem more difficult than allowing ourselves to become passive in much of our lives, remaining in a state of constant fear.

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When anxiety blurs the lines between valuable lessons that the course of our lives have provided us and the flashbacks of moments that we would give anything to make right, it becomes crucial that we remain reasonable and calm.

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When we consume ourselves with the longing to control the past, we surrender our control of what lies ahead - both near and far.

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When we think level-headedly, tolerantly, and tactically in regards to who we once were, the sharp divide between our younger selves and our present selves is mended.

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If we never treat our former selves - including accomplishments, transgressions, errors, and all - with compassion and patience, our current lives will only reflect the flawed nature of our past.

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You by no means must forget all memories or past false moves; rather, you must abandon the tyrannical or negative impacts they have on your life now.

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Connecting Your Past, Present, & Future: Using Your Prior Actions As a Guide to Adapting & Changing Your Current Life To Better Yourself For The Future

This section might be slightly reminiscent of a certain Christmas tale; nevertheless, it remains important to the overall purpose of this blog post.

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Being able to recognize the ties between the past, present, and future is not an enlightening personal development limited only to Scrooge in an attempt to avoid eternal damnation.

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Acknowledging the important events and teachings that string each period of your life together is key to growth and stable improvement.

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If you possess the self-acceptance and maturity needed to learn from your failures, miscalculations, and misjudgments, all-the-while ending the self-destructive cycle of dwelling on past entanglements that no longer prove beneficial, the level of power and conviction you can gain is immeasurable.

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Your past does not define you, it guides you.

Do not let your anxieties lead you astray.

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Utilize your past as a toolkit. Knowing what you know now, how will you work smarter, live better, and build yourself up for all of the journeys that are ahead?

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In light & peace,

Sofia F.

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Looking back too often might be what is preventing you from looking ahead and moving forward. -